Date: 12 December 2007
Time: 22:54
Place: My room
Mood: The emotional equivelent of a fruit salad.
Ever had a day when things work out the way you want them to but at the end of it you just feel like a massive jerk? Yeah i had one of them days today, in fact it’s seems to have been one of them WEEKS so far. Well it started out normal enough. There was the multiple hours spent in a cold sterile cardiac operating lab donned in blue scrubs and a lead “suit” of sorts which weighed atleast 5kgs by itself (all i could think was, thank god i dont weigh this much normally!!!) then there were the multiple hours i spent waiting for the flow cytometer to scan thru all 72 samples of blood collected during the ablation. Of course the special thing abt this week was that it was my one responsibility to call up patients and get them involved in one of the projects that is currently being run here at the hospital. I’m not a shy person, and my friends will gladly attest to that but for some reason the idea of calling random strangers and askign them to participate in my study absolutely freaked the hell out of me. So i did what any other person in my position would do…..sorta dragged their feta round and avoided calling ppl and breathed a massive sigh of relief when i couldnt get hold of them. Of course then the guilt kicked in and i started feeling like i was a massive slacker that i had just wasted several good opportunities to gathered much needed information to my case.
Yes, i feel like a royal idiot at the moment and i dont know how i am gonna show my face at work int he morning. My supervisor is absolutely gonna kill me, i mean so far i have been giving off ibes of not wanting to do work therefore things have been half-arsed and quite frankly i am ashamed of myself. Now i know that u guys are thinking, well atleast u realise that now and u can fix it in the future….but what heck am i gonna say tomorrow….aww shucks mate, i missed the fone call coz i was busy watching some mind numbing eveing tv?? Not a very good excuse is it?
Well, i go on holiday tmr, well jst for the week while my mum, dad and brother are in town for my graduation. It’s supposed to be such an exciting time but i’m just ot tired to really appreciate what this means at this point in my life. Hopefully my next entry will be a lot more bouncy and happy.
Till then, bon soir et au revoir!
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